When Last did you help someone without expecting something in return? There's this inner joy that comes with selflessly proffering a solution to one's problem - being an answer to one's prayer. This used to be a big deal for me but recently, I do things for people and don't expect anything in return. I agree to help out, put my heart to it, act like I'm being paid for it, and learn from it. Their heartfelt "thank you" is enough pay for whatever good deed I have done.
In helping out, you might be taken advantage of. Have you ever felt used? You know that most people want to be with you not because they really like you but because of what you can do for them. The moment the benefits attached to being with you is off, you just see the relationship slide down the drain. Take for instance, you help someone with a task all the time, then once, twice, thrice you don't do it because for one reason or another, you're indisposed, most of the time, they just push you aside and gradually they pick a fight with you in their heart. The once blooming friendship begins to wane in a twinkle of an eye. This is exactly what it means to be used. They don't care about your timing, they just need you to come to their rescue at their time - always. This is sheer selfishness.
Well, well, there's a goodnews! Learn to say No! It saves you lots. Sounds interesting doesn't it? Don't be too interested in pleasing people at your own peril. The Igbo people say that it is not good for one to swallow phlegm in the name of decorum. I used to be scared of saying no to people because I felt it had destructive effect on their perception of me. Not anymore. Whenever it's time to say no, mindless of who is involved, say it. When you can, offer help and as much as possible, don't give into any form of exploitation. Exploiters are always on the prowl looking for vulnerable souls to tear apart.
Discomforting yourself ALL THE TIME just to be in the good books of people pays not. I've had not one, not two, not three nasty experiences and trust me, you wouldn't want to "taste and see". I just told you, it's a nasty experience. Now that you've heard, allot time for yourself and then for others. Help when you can and when you can't, back out!
I've said a lot already, let s/him who has ears hear!
Join the discussion
You may sign in to comment.